Fragile and ephemeral.
To those unaware eyes.
Crazy flickering lamps,
trembling in the wind.
But appearances are superficial!
See! on the inside there is a mountain,
and within the mountain a deep lake.
Genuine and unique,
self-reliant and authentic.
Behind the veil of softness,
there is an iron will,
a soul committed to the truth
and a spirit no one can defeat.
No matter how well
I sometimes get along,
I must come to realize
that irrefutable truth
plain before my eyes
that for this world
I am just made not.
And whatever wellness
I may sometimes feel inside,
I know that from the outside
I am that weird and clueless stranger
the odd fish climbing up a tree
oblivious to the “real” world
caring for childish nonsense.
But however weird I may be seen
I am sure that in no way
do I want to resemble them
so clever in gamesmanship
experts in elbowing and backstabbing
spending their time chasing lowly morsels
and bowing for bureaucracy and evil powers.
No, I am changing this world not,
but they will never shortchange me either!
There is just nothing left to be done
I will pretend to fit from today on
until my heavy duties are over
and will then lock my door
placing myself under a joyous Sun
in the vast and silent spaces
of my inner garden.
Not the best poetry. Not the most inspired words. Just tired, feeling restless and overwhelmed. I needed to write it so.
I locked my door from the inside
and entered that rich and silent world
where without tension and noise
I can simply be myself alone,
without from outside imposed rules,
or those frequent strange looks,
never an outsider, always on spot,
in the peace of my inner garden
there is a place I can call my home
For as long as I remember
I have been a path-seeking,
out-of-place and often weird,
Forced to socialize by convention,
but by nature drawn to contemplation,
I enjoyed the charms of conversation,
but mostly thrived in thought and reflection.
Only after half a life of maturation
did I find at last a balance
between duty to my fellows
and that innermost need
for silence and solitude.